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Tag Archives: Writer: Regina Ibrahim

The Fear of Your Child Becoming a “Pondan”

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by Regina Ibrahim

Heran bin Ajaib was pondering about human nature. First he recited the Kalimah Syahadah, followed by a Bismillah. We do not know, however, if he truly understands the meanings of those recitations.

Accepting a trans-child is something that is difficult, for both the child and the parent. The common, selfish prayer is often “it’s alright if it happens to others, but please don’t let it happen to my own child. I’m scared, I’m ashamed. Why me? What will people say? How do I answer to my friends and family about this child of mine who is a ‘pondan’?”

The idea of it being something that “happens” is already incorrect, as is the concept of trans-identity being something that is “chosen”. In the mind of such a parent, it is even possible that the thought of their child being a drug addict, a vagabond or a mat rempit is better than them being trans. These thoughts are commonly brought upon by human ego. Masked under God-fearing proclamations, it is clear that the true fear is of “what people will say”.

Some of the reasons as to why parents are anxious when their child comes out as transgendered:

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