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Tag Archives: Writer: Lyana Khairuddin

Proud Naked

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 by Lyana Khairuddin 

Imagine a young girl whose whole physical appearance is defined by the word “fat”. Hailed as the “Gorilla King Kong” by her family, she is the biggest kid in kindergarten who can never get store-bought uniforms because she is not built like an average 7-year old. Growing up with the constant paradox of dieting yet compulsively eating her feelings, this young girl did not lead a generic childhood after prematurely hitting puberty, and having been molested, at the age of nine. At the age of nine, she hid behind the fabric of baggy clothes, making sure to cover her aurat because she was a “woman” now, but too big to be considered pretty. Comparing her to a heavier set Malaysian actress was her parents’ way of attempting to scare her into eating less & becoming “normal looking”, and she always assumed stationary positions whenever physical activity was required, such as goalkeeper during football. Even now, as an adult, she is still subject to scrutiny and lewd comments about her body weight and image, because “big” is not yet beautiful in Malaysia.

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